


Salt. Swells. Undertows.

by RayShippouUchiha



Series: The Components of Construction [4]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cliche Plot Point, Deaf Clint Barton, Dubious Science, Everything is Reed's Fault, F/M, Female Tony Stark, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Tony, Other, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-30 23:37:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8554159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayShippouUchiha/pseuds/RayShippouUchiha
Summary: She’d never have imagined her life would turn out like this.  Living in her own Tower, sharing space with superheroes, fighting evil and saving the city and the world on a regular basis.  Having a family outside of the small, guarded circle of people she’s has called her entire world for so long now.But here she is, living the dream as it were.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ask/prompt fill that went out of control.
> 
> Prompt at the end.
> 
> *Knowledge of "The Limitations of Wax" is highly recommended but probably not completely necessary before going forth*

The Tower is filled with people for once, the common areas alive and bustling because it’s one of the rare days where everyone is home at the same time and relaxing.  They’re all enjoying the peace and quiet in their own ways, basking in the calm and warmth of the Tower and the family they’ve built within it.

Clint’s eating cereal out of a glass while watching  _Toddlers in Tiaras,_  Natasha curled up peacefully beside him on the couch reading a book.  He can’t help but smile a little bit every once in a while because she’s utterly relaxed against his side.  He knows it’s because she can let her guard down where she is and she knows it.  They’re safe here in this Tower, with these people, with their new family.

Thor’s sprawled out on the other couch, large headphones in place as he listens to music.  There are many differences between his home and this world but music is one difference that he deeply enjoys.  The minstrels of Asgard are far different from those of Midgard and here they sing of so many subjects.  It always helps to ease the ache for Asgard that lives in his breast, as does the company of his shield-brothers and sisters of course.

Sam’s browsing new cameras on his tablet because he’s thinking about getting back into photography.  It’s something he hasn’t done since he lost Riley, because it had been Riley who’d gotten him into it in the first place.  He hadn’t had the heart to touch a camera after the day he lost him but he thinks it’s time now.  He thinks he’s ready, thinks that Riley would have wanted him to be ready.

Bruce is sitting near one of the large windows, science journal in hand and a cup of steaming tea at his elbow.  He’s out of the lab for the day and he’s calm and relaxed and happy because Toni’s given him a place to be those things, a place to live without fear of the world or himself.

She gave that to all of them really.  Had extended her hands in their directions for longer than most people would have ever dreamed of.

It hadn’t been easy at first but eventually they'd all managed to come together.

They'd taken Toni's hands, had taken what she'd offered and built a family as well as a team on the foundation she'd provided.

And it’s been so goddamn good ever since.

For all of them

~~~

A floor down Steve’s in the art studio Toni had built for him.

It’s a wide open space with lots of natural light and it's been done in clean lines and warm hues.

It’s beautiful and comfortable and  _his_  in a way he hadn’t been able to accept two years ago when Toni had first shown it to him.

He still regrets the way he’d acted then, regrets the memory of watching the light slowly dim in her bright eyes at his lack of enthusiasm.  He’d thought ... well his thoughts hadn’t been nice, hadn’t been kind.  Hadn’t been worthy of a woman as classy and deeply _kind_ as Toni could be.

He’d been too hurt and too raw, too caught up in all he’d lost and blind to all he stood to gain, to accept her gift then, to accept  _her_. 

He knows they’ve moved past that by now, knows they’ve built a family here with the others and moved beyond the anger and hurt of those first months.  He knows it because Toni  _smiles_  for him now.  She grins at him in that way she’d once only smiled for Rhodes or Ms. Potts and Hogan.  It’s an expression so bright and true, so _beautiful_ , that he can barely breathe sometimes when he sees it.

Steve loves her.

He’s never told her, maybe never will.  But he knows it’s true.

He’d never thought he’d love like this but he does, and the hurt of it is sweet and thick like honey on his tongue.

Steve savors the flavor though, cherishes the ache of it even if he’s sure he’d ruined his chances with Toni all the way back in the beginning.

It’s okay though.

Loving someone isn’t always about being loved back after all.

Real love doesn't demand love in return as its price.

He’ll take the joy he finds in his life now, in Toni, and he’ll hold it close.  He’ll hoard the warmth her smile brings him close to his heart.  He’ll cherish the joy of her laughter, the shiver of lust he gets from seeing her messy and disheveled after a night in the workshop or sleep warm and tousled in the morning.  He'll bask in the spark of awe that seeing her dressed to the nines with a smirk on her crimson lips always brings to life inside of him.

He'll keep a tight grip on that surge of need that always rocks him to his core every time he finds an excuse to touch her.

He’ll savor those things and he’ll keep his love to himself just like he always has.

He still likes to say it to himself sometimes though.  Likes to mouth the words to the dark of his bedroom, likes to hear them in the air and taste them in his mouth when he knows he’s alone and the others can’t hear or see him do it.

Sometimes, when he can’t sleep, he’ll bury his face in his pillow, wrap a hand around his cock, and say it like a mantra.

_I love you, Toni._

Saying it, acknowledging it, helps somehow.

Besides Steve knows JARVIS will hold his secret as long as it doesn’t endanger Toni.

And it doesn’t.

Steve won’t let it.

He’d never hurt her like that.  Doesn’t want to hurt her ever again even if he knows he will.  She twists him up inside sometimes to the point where he doesn’t always think before he speaks, to the point that he gets angry at himself as much as he might be angry at her or something else entirely.

He’s never been good with the dames Steve admits ruefully.  That’d always been Bucky’s area of expertise.  Or at least it used to.  Now they both kind of flounder in their own ways when it comes to women.  It doesn’t help that Toni, like Peggy and Natasha, is one of a kind in a way that’s almost hard to believe.

Speaking of Bucky, that’s part of the problem too.  Because Steve _loves_ Toni but he also knows he’s not the only one.

Bucky loves her too.

They’ve talked about it, made peace with it, but Steve knows he’ll never make a move now.  Not even if he thought he had a chance with her still despite how badly he'd messed up in the past.

Knowing that Bucky loves her ... well Steve would feel like he was stealing a future from Bucky if he tried to make a move on Toni now.  Even if Bucky himself has no intentions of trying to get closer to Toni than they both already are.

He won’t, can’t, do that for a number of reasons.

Steve sighs, looks down at his drafting desk, and traces the tip of a finger over the curve of Toni’s smile, careful not to accidentally smudge the drawing.  He likes to do Toni in inks, likes the wet, sharp look of them, the bright popping colors and sharp lines they can give him.

Those, he thinks, are what capture her the best.

So Steve smiles, picks up a new pen, and bends back to his work.

Everything will work out one way or another.

And for now this is enough.

~~~

Bucky’s in the gym because, outside of the quiet of the roof or the mesmerizing chaos of Toni’s lab, it’s the place he likes best in the entire Tower.

There’s a comfort in the familiarity of the equipment, in the  _function_ of the room itself.  The gym reminds him of the few ... not  _good_ days with HYDRA but the ones that were less horrible in some ways.

Physical conditioning days had been as freeing in their own way as they’d often been painful.  As much of a puppet as he’d been under HYDRA's control Bucky had been aware enough to know that he’d preferred physical conditioning days above things like arm maintenance.  That had been a different kind of agony all together.

But physical conditioning, the freedom to hit and kick and punch?  The glory of using his body just to use it, pushing himself to the limits of his enhanced system just to see how far he could go?  He’d craved that as the Winter Soldier even if he hadn’t understood what it was to truly  _want_ anything then _._

So the gym is a reminder, a good and a painful one all at the same time _._

He hasn’t told Steve that of course because the mook always gets sad or pissed about that kind of thing and Bucky can always tell no matter how hard he tries to hide it.

Toni knows though.

The thought stops Bucky cold.

_Toni knows._

Bucky sighs, leans forward until his sweaty forehead can rest against the punching bag, and just breathes.

 _Toni_.

God she’s something else.

Bucky would have never thought he’d be where he is now.

In control.

Free.

Living in a tower full of superheroes with Steve and Natalia both.

 _Hopelessly in love with Toni Stark_.

And it is hopeless he knows.

He doesn’t ... there’s no place for him in her life like that.

And it’s not that Steve loves her too, because Bucky  _knows_ he does, they’ve talked about it, made peace with the two of them loving the same woman.

So that isn’t the issue, or at least isn’t all of it.

It’s so much more than that.

It’s his past and what he’d done in it, what he’d been forced to do.  It’s him now, still a little more than half broken on his best days, still mending from decades of hurt.

He’s not the Bucky he used to be.  He knows that, sees it in the sadness that creeps over Steve sometimes.

He’s not charming and smooth like he used to be.  There’s been too much to happen to him between then and now.  Too much pain, too much blood, just ... too much.  Parts of him had been murdered years ago to make room for something new.  For the creature he is now.

He can’t ... he couldn’t give her what she deserves even if she was to want him to try.  He knows that.  Stevie would be better for her all the way around if the jerk could get his head out of his ass long enough to ask her out.  Or talk to her without tripping over his own mouth half the time.

But god that doesn’t stop Bucky from wanting her.  He knows, with a dark curl of something that feels almost like shame, that he would still want her even if she was with Steve.  Even if he didn’t have the _right_ to want her anymore he still would.

He can’t, _won’t_ , stop.

She’s the first thing, the first person, he’s  _wanted_  for himself in so long now.

In some ways being around her had taught him how to want anything at all again.

It had started slow, a small flicker of awareness that had soon burst into a raging flame.

The heat of that want, the dark, possessive snarl of it, is what truly stops him though.

It’s not ... he wants her _too much_  he thinks sometimes.

He wants her so bad he  _aches_  with it.  Wants to crawl inside her skin, wants to put his mouth on her and bite down, wants to suck hard and harsh at her skin until she wears  _his_  marks.  Wants to rut against her like an animal until she  _stinks_  of him.  Wants to press her down into that big bed of hers and make her  _take it_ , make her scream and moan and  _beg_  him for more.

Bucky shudders cause he’s already half hard at just the _thought_.

That darkness is the real reason he doesn’t do anything.

The real reason he hasn’t tried, hasn’t even let himself think about it too much.

He can’t ... she doesn’t ... he’s done enough to her.

He won’t do that too.

He’ll stick to fucking his own hand and jerking his dick raw on the nights he’s too antsy to take it anymore.  He'll stick to their late night meets where he gets to see her soft and quieter and just a bit vulnerable.  He’ll stick to his longing from a distance and the pain of waking up from dreams of her.

He’ll stick to fantasies of her warm and soft at his side, smiling up at him with those big blue eyes bright with laughter.  He’ll stick to imagining her hot and wet around his cock as he fucks her, his mouth biting at her throat and his hands buried in that luscious hair of hers that he longs to touch.

He’ll tuck away the dark, _delicious_ thought of pressing up against her back and watching Stevie as he presses against her front.  Will hoard the dreams of sharing her with Steve away like they’re something precious but secret.

Because they are.

So he loves Toni Stark.

But love doesn’t always mean getting what you want.

Bucky knows that all too well.

He’s used to hiding what he wants by now anyways.  This is just one more thing to add to the pile.  One more ache to endure and bury.

He sighs, straightens up, and goes back to working the bag with a steady, bruising rhythm.

He’ll dream of her tonight he knows.

He dreams of her most nights to be honest.

It’s both a blessing and a curse.

~~~

Down in her workshop Toni’s busy singing along absently to the music JARVIS is playing for her as she works.

She’s currently in the middle of adjusting a water-filtration system that she’s had on backlog for the past few months.  It’s a part of SI’s Green Initiative and thankfully the adjustments are _flowing_ _smoothly_.

As a matter of fact most things in her life are at the moment.

Things have been going so good lately that Toni’s almost convinced she’s in a dream half the time.

She’d never have imagined her life would turn out like this.  Living in her own Tower, sharing space with superheroes, fighting evil and saving the city and the world on a regular basis.  Having a family outside of the small, guarded circle of people she’s has called her entire world for so long now.

But here she is, living the dream as it were.

Living side by side with _Steve_ and _Bucky_.

Steve who is all golden warmth and strength.  Steve who smiles and fights and laughs with and around her.  Steve who comes down to the workshop on a regular basis to sketch Mother in her habitat or to play with the bots.  Steve who has managed to move past his initial dislike for her, has managed to take the time to get to know her enough not to hate her anymore.  Steve who gets mad when the press slanders her, who puts himself between her and paparazzi in a way only Rhodey or Happy ever has. Steve who she still loves, who she’s always loved on one level or another it seems.  Steve who makes her heart race and her stomach clench.

Steve who makes her _ache_.

And then there’s Bucky too.

Bucky who’s darker, a bit more openly feral than Steve is.  Bucky who has a thread of ruthlessness in him that Toni both covets and admires despite its origins.  Bucky with his crooked grin and the hair he keeps tied up in a bun.  Bucky with the sadness in his eyes and guilt weighing on his shoulders.  Bucky who calls her _doll_ and who seems to watch her back in battle just as easily as he watches Steve’s.  Bucky who slides into the workshop and endures the bots and their fascination with his arm alongside their insistence on handing him things like oil and socket wrenches.  Bucky who whispers secrets to her in the night, when the rest of the Tower is asleep and it’s just the two of them, plagued by their nightmares and their pasts both hidden and known.  Bucky who’d begged for her forgiveness even when she’d been vicious and snarling and too wounded to realize that he didn’t need it in the first place.

Bucky who she also loves. 

Bucky who makes her _burn_.

And she has both of them her with her now, living in her Tower, sharing meals and movies and space with her and this strange family she’s somehow found herself a part of.

Toni had never thought she’d … this is …it’s … it’s more than she’d _ever_ thought possible.

More than she could have _dreamed_ of.

Toni is _happy_ now.  Happy in a way she’s never been.

Even with the constant ache of knowing that she loves Steve and Bucky both but that she’s not the right kind of woman for either of them.

She’s too broken for either of them, too jagged and mixed up and unable to change, unable to fix herself no matter how hard she tries.

They deserve _better_ and better is the one thing Toni knows she’ll never be.

Still, even despite that now familiar ache, she’s so _goddamn happy_.

And that scares her in a lot of ways.  Fills her with anxiety and dread.  She’s constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop as the saying goes.  Waiting for something to happen to snatch those feelings away from her.

Because nothing this good can ever last.

Not for her.

Something or someone always crops up and does their best to steal this kind of peace away from her.

It’s only a matter of time.

~~~

“Miss,” JARVIS’ voice grabs her attention a few hours later.

“Yeah J?”

“Director Hill has put out a call Miss,” JARVIS tells her and Toni immediately focuses on his voice fully.

“We assembling?”  She’s up on her feet before he can answer, already moving towards the Iron Gallery and the armor.

“Not as such Miss,” JARVIS denies and Toni stops, narrows her eyes, and waits.  “I’m afraid that Director Hill is requesting the Avengers make their way to her headquarters for a non-combat related issue.  She refused to provide further details expect that it was a matter of most urgency and discretion.”

Toni’s mind _whirls_ because Hill’s not normally so cryptic.  Unlike Fury, who still delights in being vague and a pain in Toni’s ass on occasion, Hill is refreshingly upfront for a spy.

“Alright J,” Toni finally agrees even as she moves toward the bathroom.  “Tell the others to head off without me, I’ll meet them there in a few.”

“Of course Miss.”

~~~

Toni heels click against the tiled floor as she struts into the conference room a half hour or so later.  The rest of the team’s already there of course, standing around in their civilian clothes and looking relatively normal but Toni knows that doesn’t really matter.

Natasha, Bucky, Bruce and Thor are never _really_ unarmed.  None of them really are to be honest.  Steve has the shield in the portfolio case at his feet, Clint’s bow is slung over his shoulder in the special cylindrical drop case she made for him and Sam’s wings are in a case similar to Toni’s old Mark V suitcase armor.  Toni of course has JARVIS in her ear and the armor ready to tear its way through to her at a split seconds notice.

That’s one of the first things she’d handled once they’d all come together as a team and then as a family.  Toni had found a way to make sure _all_ of them could be armed to the teeth in _seconds_ no matter where they were.

“Stark, how nice of you to join us.”  Hill gives her a dour frown but doesn’t say anything else because no one’s even sat down yet so Toni’s not technically late.

She’s just made a bit of a dramatic entrance as always.

“You know me Hill,” Toni slants her a grin as she moves to take her usual place between Steve and Bucky at the table, “I _always_ aim to please.”

“That’s what she said,” Clint mutters only to whine when Natasha reaches back and smacks him in the back of the head.  “Aww, _jokes_.”

On either side of her Steve shakes his head and rolls his eyes as Bucky huffs out a little exasperated sigh.

Toni waits until Clint looks up at her again and then she winks at him and raises her hands up to bop out a quick “right on” in his direction.

“Don’t encourage him Toni.”  Bruce chides from a bit further down.

Clint just grins, leans back in his seat, and props his feet up on the table.

“If you’re all finished?”  Hill calls their attention to the front of the room where she’s standing, arms crossed and feet set firmly apart.

“Don’t mind us Hill.”  Toni waves a hand magnanimously in the air in front of her.  “You go ahead and tell us what it is that’s got you looking so cheerful.”

“Cute.”  The way Hill says the word makes it sound like a curse instead.  Apparently she and Fury are more alike than Toni had figured earlier.  “At approximately 15:00 yesterday one of Reed Richards experiments went critical.  The Baxter building is relatively unharmed but the experiment he was working on had … unexpected results.”

Toni immediately growls, low and displeased, in the back of her throat.  Steve and Bucky both shift on either side of her at the sound but for once she ignores them.

“ _Of fucking course it did_.”  Toni snarls.  Further down the table Bruce already has his face buried in his hands.  “It’s _Richards_.  The man can’t _twitch_ without setting off something dangerous and unstable in that trash heap he calls a building.”

“Stark’s prolonged pissing contest with Richards aside,” Hill cuts in with a glower as she turns her back to them and moves over towards the darkened monitors mounted on the wall, “that’s the reason why I called you in.  Richard’s portals didn’t produce anything _dangerous_ before they went critical and collapsed but they did produced _someone_.  Two someone’s you could say.”  Hill turns back to face them then and Toni can see the way stress has pulled the corners of her mouth down just a bit.  “I need you to handle this until Reed gets his systems back up and running enough to fix this.”

“Please be a dinosaur, please be a dinosaur,” Clint has his fingers crossed and isn’t even attempting to keep his voice down.

“What part of _not dangerous_ didn’t you understand Barton?”  Hill snaps in his direction.

“The part where you turned your back on the deaf guy who has his hearing aids turned down `cause he was hoping to nap through this.”  Clint tells her sunnily.

“ _Barton_.”  Hill grits out and Toni’s sure her hand twitches toward her gun just a bit.

“Just who is it that you’re wanting us to keep an eye on?”  Steve cuts in then before things can spiral any further out of control.  “Wouldn’t it be better to keep these people here, isolated and secure?”

“Normally yes.  We currently have them both locked down separately in secure rooms and normally we’d keep them there for the duration.”  Hill agrees with a nod in Steve’s direction.  “If this was a relatively normal situation that is.  But it’s not.  Their identities have already been confirmed and that’s where things get a little bit more complicated.  Given the circumstances I thought it’d be best to call you in.  Stark especially.”

Toni feels a shiver of foreboding trace down her spine when Hill turns her gaze in her direction.

“Don’t keep us in suspense Hill.”  Toni makes sure her face is blank and her smile is cutting.

“I,” Hill falters a moment, a split second of hesitation that’s out of character for her, “I actually think it’d be best if you saw for yourselves.  It’s a bit of a shock.”  Hill warns them even as she reaches out and flicks on the monitor.

For a long moment Toni thinks she’s _dreaming_.

For a long moment Toni’s _sure_ she’s dreaming.

Because this … this can’t be _real_.

The universe can’t be this _cruel_.

“Miss,” JARVIS’ voice is soft and concerned in her ear but Toni can barely hear him over the pounding of her own heart.  It’s racing beside the reactor, trying its hardest to pound its way out of her chest.  “Miss your heart rate has increased dramatically.  I will send the armor to your location if you do not calm down.”

Toni doesn’t really register the words, can’t.

All of her focus is turned toward that monitor, towards the two people it’s showing her on the split screen.

There, staring up at the cameras trained on them are two versions of the same man.  One’s older, face stern and hair going a steely grey, he’s staring at the camera with narrowed eyes and a heavy frown.  The other man is younger, ink black hair swept away from his face and skin still rosy with youth.  He’s looking around the room with interest, curiosity bright in his eyes.

There’s a world of difference between the two, so much so that it’s almost hard to tell they’re the same person.  Most people wouldn’t be willing to believe they are.

But Toni’s not most people and she knows _exactly_ who’s in that room.  Would recognize him anywhere, through anything, no matter how old he is.

“ _Howard_.”  Toni whispers the name, disbelief mingling with denial as her world shifts and slides off its axis.

 _Oh God_.

 _He’s back_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this is so long overdue. I waffled over how to handle this second half but I think I did well with being true to the characters. Anyways I really hope you guys like it!

Toni’s breath leaves her in a nearly silent whoosh, a old but still familiar sort of panic eating the air from her lungs.

 _Howard_.

 _Two Howards_.

It’s like all of Toni’s most secret nightmares have coalesced to form this one unbelievable situation.

Toni hears voices calling for her in the distance but her eyes are glued to the screen and she hears them as if they’re coming to her from underneath the water.  Distant and muffled, distorted and barely decipherable.

“Initiating Emancipation Protocol,” JARVIS’ voice is suddenly low and almost vicious in her ear but the familiar, _comforting_ , sound of him cuts through her panic like a hot knife

“B-Belay that J,” Toni manages to force the words out but unable to keep her voice as even and cool as she normally does.  That’s a protocol she doesn’t recognize, doesn’t _know_ , and right now … right now, above all else, what she needs is _control_.

She feels like the entire world is spiraling out of control around her and that’s something that Toni can’t, won’t, let happen.  She has to keep a hold of it all because if she lets it go, if she lets _herself_ go … the very thought is enough to frighten her.

Around her the rest of the room goes silent and she can suddenly feel the weight of everyone’s attention focused on her like a physical weight.

It’s …

 _It’s too much_.

Toni …. she … Toni needs to _leave_.

She can’t stay here.

Not in this room.

Not in this _building_.

Not so long as Howard, _two Howards_ some hysterical part of her brain jibbers again, is here as well.

Hell, a part of her is already thinking about leaving the _state_ until this nightmare manages to resolve itself somehow.

Toni gathers the ragged pieces of her composure together and manages to pry her hands off of the arms of the chair, vaguely aware of the fact that she’s been white-knuckling it this entire time.  She pushes herself up onto her feet, uncaring of the way the chair skitters back away from the table and slams against the wall behind her.

“Toni/doll?”  Steve and Bucky call out to her from either side simultaneously.

Toni ignores them both though, all of her attention split between the screens showing her the ghost from her nightmares and JARVIS’ voice in her ear.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Miss,” JARVIS doesn’t sound all that regretful.  If anything he still sounds _cold_ , sounds determined.  Above them the lights begin to flicker and in the distance Toni can hear shouting and what she’s sure are muffled gunshots.  “The protocol was arranged between myself and Colonel Rhodes and is, for the most part, non-negotiable.  Now, please stand by to be removed from the premises Miss.  The armor will arrive in t-minus forty-five seconds.  Colonel Rhodes has already been alerted and is in route.”

Across from her Hill’s radio begins to squawk loudly.  The glare Hill shoots in Toni’s direction once she answers it could strip paint but Toni _doesn’t care_.

“ _Stark_ ,” Hill barks at her seconds later, one hand on her gun and the other clenched around her radio.  “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?  I’ve got reports of the armor ripping its way through the _actual walls_.  You need to tell your psychotic little AI to  _stand the fuck down_.”

“Hill,” Toni finally has the presence of mind to snap back, “ _you’d_ better tell _your_ minions to _stand the fuck down_.  Last I checked JARVIS doesn’t answer to you and neither do I.  As far as that goes neither do the Avengers.  We’re all here as a courtesy.”

She might not know the protocol JARVIS is talking about but she’ll back his play from here to hell.  He deserves that much trust and more from her.

“You’re destroying my headquarters Stark.”  Hill’s gun is in her hand then but it doesn’t stay there for long.

Natasha’s up in moving in the next second, covering the distance between her and Hill with barely discernible speed.  Her hand snaps out to twist the pistol out of Hill’s grasp only to turn and level it back at her in one smooth move.  At the same time Clint’s bow is in his hand, Bruce’s skin takes on a decidedly green tinge and Thor and Sam square up just behind him.

“ _Bill me_ ,” Toni snarls even as Steve and Bucky slide in front of her in one smooth, fluid motion.  Steve’s shield is in his hand, ready to attack or defend, and Bucky’s got a knife in one hand and the extended clip pistol she’d built him in the other.

“All agents stand down,” Hill bites out into the radio a few tense seconds later.  She’s outmatched and she knows it.  “I repeat, _stand down_.  Do not attempt to engage the armor.  The situation is being handled.”

“Good move,” Toni tells her icily from behind the solid wall of Steve and Bucky’s bulk.  Normally she’d push past their protection and face Hill head on but she’s pretty sure if she touches either one of them she’ll fly apart at the seams.

“You owe me an explanation Stark,” Hill holsters her radio, face pinched in anger and eyes cold.

“I don’t owe you a _goddamn thing_ ,” Toni corrects her with a savage grin that she barely manages to keep even.  “It’s about time you remembered that.”

Just then the door to the conference room is ripped from its hinges and the armor fills the doorway with its impressive bulk.  Steve and Bucky shift as one, deliberately covering Toni as she steps forward and into the comforting embrace of the suit.

Into JARVIS’ metaphorical arms and the safety they guarantee.

“Captain,” Hill turns her attention towards Steve, “you’re not going to do anything about this?  Stark’s on your team, maybe it’s time _you get her_ _in line_.”

“Tried that already,” Steve says with a surprising amount of cheerfulness even as he slides back and takes his place on Toni’s right side, Bucky slipping up to cover her left as he always does.  “Didn’t work out for any of us.  Nowadays I _trust_ my team Hill, I don’t try and control them.”

“JARVIS,” Toni speaks up in the privacy of the suit, “I want that entire section locked down.  No one in or out.  No one gets within ten yards of either Ho-” Toni breaks off, swallows heavily, “of _Howard_.  Either version of him.  I want scans too, all that you can manage.  Make sure it’s really … just make sure.  Understand?”

“Done, Miss,” JARVIS tells her instantly.  “Protocol states that you are to be extracted to the Tower in the meantime.  Colonel Rhodes will be present at the Tower within the next half hour.”

“We’re gonna have to have a talk about this _protocol_ of yours J,” Toni sighs, eyes clenched closed for a split second in an effort to gather more strength.  “I can’t … I can’t just _leave_.  You know that.  We both know that.  I have to … we have to stay.  Have to deal with … _this_.”

“You have to do nothing of the sort,” JARVIS denies, voice hard.  “The … visitors will be kept secure and answers will be found.  I’ve already begun combing over the data gathered from Dr. Richard’s report on his experiment.  There is no need for you to remain even if the protocol allowed it.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Do not stay here Miss,” JARVIS’ voice is soft in her ear, almost pleading.  “Not so close to him.   _Please_.”

There’s more than a bit of pleading in JARVIS’ voice and Toni is so very weak to it.  Will always be so very weak for her boy and his obvious love and concern.

JARVIS is, after all, the keeper of her secrets and this, the years of pain and anger between her and Howard, is no exception.

Rhodey has more than a few suspicions, always has Toni knows, but she’d never outright confirmed them to him.

JARVIS, like the Jarvis before him, is the only one who knows the truth of her childhood.

He’s the only one she’s _ever_ told.

“I’m going back to the Tower,” Toni announces to the room.  “Rhodey’s on his way.  We’ll go see Richards in person, see if we can’t _encourage_ him to speed things up a bit.  JARVIS has the entire containment section here locked down.  No one’s going either in or out.  You try to force the issue and you’ll regret it Hill.”

Hill looks ready to protest but Natasha cuts her off.

“Take Bruce and the fossils with you _Зайка_ _*_ ,” Natasha turns enough to smirk up at the faceplate of the armor but Toni knows her well enough to know that she never takes her actual attention off of Hill.  “The rest of us will stay, keep the area extra secure.  Make sure no one on SHIELD’s payroll has any … inclination to disobey.”

Clint, Sam, and Thor all nod or gesture in agreement although Toni can see the open curiosity and concern on most of their faces.  She ignores it though, unable and unwilling to handle it at the moment, if ever.

“Oh Creepy Crawler,” Toni manages to say lightly even as she turns and heads towards the door, “you’re deliciously terrifying.”

Bruce, Steve and Bucky follow closely on her heels without another word.

Their trust, their devotion, warms her right down to her soul.  Warms parts of her that the reappearance of Howard into her reality has managed to ice over already.  But she still feels cold, still feels breathless and panicky, like the entire world is both pressing in on her and spinning out of control all at the same time.

Not even they can stop that.

She loves them, all of them.  Loves them truly and deeply.  She would and does go into battle with them on a regular basis.  Trusts them with her life, with the lives of the entire world.

But this is just … _too much_.

For this Toni needs more than the love and trust she’s managed to build with the others.  For this she needs her touch-stone, needs her bastion of unparalleled safety.

Needs the other half of her heart and soul.

For this Toni needs _Rhodey_.

~~~

Steve follows behind Toni silently, expression deliberately even despite the way worry and confusion are currently gnawing at his gut.

On his left Bruce is silent, stone faced on a level that he rarely ever reaches these days.  Not with the warmth and comfort of the Tower softening his edges just a bit.  There’s also a flush of green high on his cheeks and Steve sees the way he flexes his hands rhythmically.

The Hulk has become a teammate all on his own over time and is, Steve knows, never far from the surface with Bruce.  But it’s moments like these, when Bruce’s eyes glow a sickly green and his skin is flushed with a menacing jade undertone, that really brings that truth into perspective.

On his other side Bucky is grimmer than ever before, blank eyed and cold in that way that always makes Steve ache a little bit inside.  That detachment, that iciness, is so far beyond what Bucky used to be capable of back in the day.  Even as a level-headed sniper for the Commandos Bucky had never been so cold, so bleak and almost empty seeming even on the worst days.

But, again, that had been back before HYDRA had gotten their slimy hands on him for a second time.

Back before Steve had let him fall and then failed to find him afterwards.

Steve shakes the thoughts away, aware that now isn’t the time to linger on old and painful regrets.

Not when Toni needs him, _them_ , by her side.

And she does, need them that is.

He knows she does.

Because he’s never … he’s seen Toni in a lot of different moods, different situations, but this …

There’d been disbelief on her face for a split second after Hill had turned those screens on.  Disbelief followed quickly by _panic_.

Those are two things he’s seen from her in the past.  Maybe not often but he has seen them.

But it’s what had come after that really sticks with Steve, that claws at the inside of his gut and refuses to be ignored.  That makes something cold and heavy settle itself down in his chest and refuse to be budged.

Because after the disbelief, after that tiny flash of panic, there’d been something else on Toni’s beautiful face, etched out across those eyes Steve loves so much.

 _Fear_.

In that split second before she’d iced it over, before JARVIS had distracted everyone by ripping his way through SHIELD’s headquarters and to her side, Toni had been openly and _noticeably_ afraid.

And that, that failure of hers to hide something so personal, so _vulnerable_ , as fear startles and upsets Steve more than anything else.  Because that inability to mask herself only comes into play when Toni’s emotions flare higher than she can control in that moment.

When something hits her so hard and heavy, cuts her so _deep_ , that not even she can stamp it down and shove it aside to be dealt with later on.

Steve can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen her like that outside of the comfort and safety of the Tower.  Can remember each and every vulnerable and open moment before she’d swept it away with practiced ease.

So it is, Steve knows, a solid indication that whatever it is she’s afraid of in relation to Howard is … it’s _bad_.

Steve flexes his hand around the strap of his shield and forces himself to take a deep and even breath.  A part of him wants to turn around and go back to that room, wants to march all the way to the containment rooms and see Howard again, both versions of him.  Because they’d been friends once, maybe not the best of friends true but friends nonetheless.

But the larger part of him, the louder and more dominate part of him, knows that he won’t do that.

Not now.

Because even the brief spark of joy and amazement at seeing a long lost old friend once again isn’t enough to overpower his need to be with Toni if or when she needs him.

It certainly doesn’t erase that flash of terror in Toni’s face from his memory either.

Steve knows from experience now that nothing ever will.  He still remembers with crystal clarity the fear and horror that’d been in Bucky’s expression when he fell from the train.  Still remembers the wavering desperation and grief in Peggy’s voice on the radio that last time.  Still remembers the burst of icy pain that had swallowed him whole as the water rushed in at him.

Steve remembers _everything_.

Now Toni’s carefully concealed terror will play right alongside it for the rest of his life.

But Steve’s finally learned that  all he can do now is keep moving forward.  All he can do is make sure that he has her back and her sides, that he’s right there when she needs him, however she needs him.

All he can do is his damndest to be the shield she both needs and deserves if push comes to shove.

And that?

Well that’s easy enough for Steve.

Is easier than anything else in this world he’s still adjusting to bit by bit because ...

 _He loves Toni_.

Stepping in between her and anything or anyone who puts that look in her eyes comes as natural and easy as breathing does for him now.

For her and Bucky and for the family they’ve managed to eke out together in this bright new future Steve’s ready to plant himself like a tree and refuse to be moved.

~~~

Bucky follows along behind Toni and between Steve and Bruce silently.

Each one of them is, on an individual basis, a formidable and intimidating sight for most people to come across, albeit in different ways.

Bruce and his other half are _legendary_ with the destruction they can both take and dole out.

Stevie’s just a legend all the way around these days.  

As for Bucky, well he’d spent seventy years as a ghost story, a black ops boogeyman of sorts.  And now that he’s in the light once more he has a history so thick and heavy with bloodshed and _pain_ that most people won’t even make eye contact with him.

And when it comes to _Toni_ …

Toni’s been larger than life both in and out of the armor for so long now that most people can barely string two words together when she turns the laser like focus of her attention in their direction.  She attracts and repels people like the tide, like gravity is her very own personal plaything.

She’d dragged Bucky in with barely any effort at all and he’s been happily orbiting her ever since.  The same, he knows, can be said of the rest of the Avengers.  She’d pulled them all together, murderers, monsters, and gods alike.  She’d gathered them close and given them safety and a home despite the fact that she owed none of them any of those things.

She, like Steve, is a legend all the way around.

So, yeah, all of them are their own special kind of intimidating.

Together, marching down the hall as one obviously cohesive unit, Bucky imagines they make for a downright _terrifying_ sight.

That might actually be a bit of an understatement if the way the _highly trained_ agents of SHIELD scatter like ants before the four of them is anything to go by.

The burst of dark amusement that Bucky normally gets from this kind of thing is absent today though, washed away by the icy cold of memories he’d rather not have.  His normally black humor is buried under the shock of seeing a face he’d never thought he’d have to see again.  A face that makes murky, sepia toned memories swirl back to the forefront of his mind again.  Memories that he doesn’t want but will always carry.

Erased by memories of things that he never wanted to know, things that should have _never_ happened.

All of that and so much more is so easily banished from his mind by the emotions that had been on Toni’s face for that unguarded split second.

Panic and then a bone deep kind of _fear_.

Two things he’d rather go the rest of his already long life without _ever_ seeing on her face again.

Bucky clenches his left hand, lets the faint sound of the gears and vents shifting ground him like they always do now.  Lets the familiar whirl of the mechanics center him just a bit.

It’s easy for him to regain control of himself these days, easier than it had ever been during what he remembers of before.  It is, he supposes, a gift of sorts from HYDRA, that ability to shut his emotions down, to lock them away and become a creature of motion and action, of calculation and execution.  To become a _Winter Soldier_ in more than just name.

He’ll use that duel edged gift now to follow along in Toni’s wake, to watch her back and all of her sides just like he knows Steve and the others will try to do as well.

As much as Bucky _hates_ what had been done to him, hates what they’d made him _do_ and would give almost anything to erase it all, there’s also a certain kind of dark and twisted pride deep down inside of him that lives off of knowing that at least he’d been the _best_.

There’d been a reason he’d been HYDRA’s measuring stick for other Soldier candidates despite the way he’d fought the conditioning so hard for so long.  Despite the problems he’d given them when it came to keeping him compliant for long periods of time there’d been a reason why only he out of all others had been activated and deployed so often.

Bucky had been _singular_ in his skills as a soldier, as a _weapon_.

He’d been sent against HYDRA’s enemies and a river of blood had ran across his hands, had spilled out from between his fingers all in the name of a cause that was never his own.

It had been that _perfection_ that had earned him the title _The Fist of HYDRA_ , a name that had struck terror into even the hardest of hearts for almost a century.

He’s not that man anymore, thankfully.  Is no longer that murderous automaton, that _will-less weapon_.  That doesn’t mean the skills are gone though.  That doesn’t mean he isn’t fully willing and capable of using them to tear a path through anything and everyone that might try and hurt those he cares for.

That might try and hurt Toni.

He _loves_ her, after all.

Truly, deeply, _darkly_.

For her he’s more than willing to be the knife in the dark, the shadow in the corner, once again.

If she asked it of him, which he knows she never will, he’d be more than willing to be the _Fist_ that strikes out against her enemies.

Bucky’s got a century of pain and bloodshed behind him already.

A little more isn’t going to really matter at this point.

Especially if it’s for the right reasons this time.

And Toni … well Toni will always be the _right reason_ to Bucky.

~~~

Safely inside the armor Toni finally breathes out an unsteady breath once they’re outside of the building and moving towards the familiar limousine that’s idling on the corner.

JARVIS has, as always, anticipated her needs and sent for a car so that the quinjet can stay for Natasha and the others to use if they need to.

Plus, if the way Happy, stern faced with concern shining openly in his eyes, is leaning tensely against the driver’s door is anything to go by this might have something to do with this protocol Toni doesn’t know about.

Especially with the way that Toni can, even from a distance, see the bulge in his jacket and the familiar watch on his wrist.

Happy’s armed and ready to rumble and Toni is, despite everything, more than a bit mystified with how quickly and seamlessly this _Emancipation Protocol_ has come together..

“Boss,” Happy straightens up and moves in her direction, not even the slightest bit phased by the armor after all this time.  “Let’s get you guys back to the Tower.”

“I’m starting to feel like this is some kind of conspiracy Hap,” Toni says wryly.  “You been conspiring with J against me, buddy?”

“He’s just looking out for you Boss,” Happy says stubbornly.  “We all are.”

Toni can’t say anything to that.  Their love, like always, humbles her.  Even in this horrifying situation.

“I’ll meet you all at the Baxter Building,” Toni tells them instead of moving towards the car.  She immediately sees the way Steve and Bucky both openly bite back a protest at her decision to go ahead of them alone.

“You should go back to the Tower, Toni,” Bruce finally speaks up, gaze heavy and eyes still a bright and toxic looking green.  Toni is thankful for the faceplate that hides her from view because Bruce’s eyes are far too knowing for her taste at the moment.  “Happy can drop Steve and Bucky off then take me to go see Richards if he doesn’t mind.  Honestly I think it’d be best if I … removed myself from the situation a bit.  Plus,” Bruce’s mouth tips up in a small, strained smile, “you hate Reed.  So if I go something more than you finally snapping and strangling him with his own arms will actually get done.”

“Betty Spaghetty's a fucking nuisance,” Toni grits out.  Just the mention of Richards is normally enough to shoot her blood pressure up to dangerous levels.  Today, as it turns out, might just be a record setting day.

“For once I’m not even going to argue with that,” Bruce states evenly.  “Reed’s a pain in the ass in general and he seems pretty determined to keep leaving us with the bag when it comes to his experiments.  Maybe some one on one time with me will encourage him to rethink his lab safety and restrictions for a while.”

“Alright,” Toni takes a step back and further away from the car and Steve and Bucky in particular.  “Rhodey’s on his way to the Tower so I’ll meet you boys there.”

“Toni,” Steve takes a half step forward, free hand raised beseechingly in her direction.  “Let one of us go with you.  Please.”

“And break up the set?”  Toni does her best to say evenly.

If the way Steve’s eyes narrow and Bucky’s mouth turns down just a bit at the corners is anything to go by she doesn’t exactly succeed.

“Leave it Stevie,” Bucky surprisingly speaks up.  When Toni looks in his direction his gaze is glued to the faceplate like he can see straight through it to her.  “She’s going back to the Tower so we’ll just meet her there.  It’s not like she’s going to disappear.”

Toni’s pretty sure that’s Bucky’s way of telling her she’d better not disappear.

Steve, still obviously displeased, nods in agreement.  With one last lingering look in Toni’s direction he stalks off after Bruce who’s already folded himself down and into the back of the car.  Through the open door Toni can see where Bruce has settled into the corner, eyes clothes and breathing deliberately deep and even.

Bucky lingers behind them for a second, grey eyes intent, before he dips his head in a nod and turns on his heel to get into the car as well.

Happy shuts the door behind him, gives Toni a small, tense smile and a “see you soon Boss,” and then climbs behind the wheel.

Toni watches them go in silence.

“Miss?”  JARVIS questions softly.

“Take me home J,” Toni rasps, chest heavy with emotion and mind a chaotic buzz.

“Of course, Miss,” JARVIS answers swiftly.

The armor moves around Toni without her input and she relaxes back into the feel of it.  Into JARVIS’ steady, loving embrace.

He’ll keep her safe as he always does.

~~~

Toni beats them back to the Tower of course.  Even Happy at his fastest is no match for the speed of the armor.  Especially not with the barely tamped down sense of urgency that had been apparent in JARVIS’ flying.

Once Toni steps out of the armor in the penthouse she intends to head down to the workshop and the comfort and safety it guarantees.

She doesn’t make it that far though.

The emotions she’s been pushing down and away, the disbelief and fear and sheer _panic_ she’s been ignoring so steadily, seems to rush back in at her all at once.

Between one breath and the next Toni’s on her knees, fingers clawing at the couch cushion in front of her as she tries desperately to suck air in past the familiar ache of the reactor bearing down on her chest.

It’s as if there’s no air to find and that feeling sends Toni’s mind spinning off into the _cosmos_.  

She can’t … she can’t _breathe_.

She can’t breathe because there’s _no air_ and Howard is _back_ and space is _cold and dark and full of horrors_ and she has _never_ been good enough, will never be good enough to save anyone and _Howard is here_ … and … and …

“Breathe Toni,” there’s a warm hand on her back and a familiar, solid chest beneath her palms, “just breathe, baby girl.  I’ve got you.  Wherever you are, whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real right now.  You’re _safe_.  Sweetheart, do you hear me?   _You’re safe_.  So just take a breath Tones.”

Slowly but surely that voice pulls Toni up and out of the depth of her panic.

“You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do,” Toni finally manages to rasp.

“And you’ve got to learn how to _breathe_ , you little idiot,” Rhodey’s laugh is a little shaky but the kiss he presses to her forehead is as soft and loving as it always is.

“I’m a master of breathing,” Toni shifts until her face is buried in his neck.  She can’t help the pleased little sigh she gives out when his arms automatically come up to wrap around her.  “Got a PhD in breathing, coffee-crunch.”

“Sure you do Tones,” Rhodey presses another kiss to her temple, “sure you do.”

There’s a moment of contented and settled silence between them then.

“He’s back,” Toni whispers into the hollow of Rhodey’s throat.  “Rhodey he’s _back_.  There’s _two_ of him at SHIELD, waiting.”

“He’s not going to get within twenty feet of you,” Rhodey bites the words out.  “Not now, not ever again.  Not if we’ve got anything to say about it.”

“I should …” Toni swallows down the bile that tries to rise up at even the thought of what she’s about to say, of the words she’d already said once before to JARVIS.  “I should be there, at SHIELD, dealing with him, them.  He’s ... _they’re_ … I should be there.”

“That asshole’s not your responsibility,” Rhodey bites out.  “He’s not your _anything_ no matter how many of him there are or when they come from or anything like that.  You’re _free_ from him, Toni.”

“The Emancipation Protocol?”  Toni asks quietly as the pieces finally start to click together in her head, pieces that are oh so obvious now that the panic has had a chance to run its course and she’s thinking clearer than before.  “That’s what that’s about isn’t it?  Keeping me away from Howard?  But how … why’s there even a plan in place for something like this?”

“The world’s a strange place these days Tones,” Rhodey pulls away from her far enough that they can look one another in the eyes, “and we’ve seen some crazy shit these past couple of years.”

“We really have,” Toni’s laugh is just a bit watery even as she turns her face further into the palm that comes up to gently cup her cheek.

“Gods, monsters, and everything in between.”  Rhodey agrees.  “We’ve seen so much.  Seen enough to know that pretty much anything’s possible.  So me, JARVIS, Pepper and Happy, well we decided that if the universe ever managed to spit out some version of Howard we wanted to have a plan in place.  So between the four of us we put the EMP together, just in case.”

“Look at you guys,” Toni jokes weakly, “being all efficient and clever without me.”

“Wonders never cease baby girl,” Rhodey snips back.  “We all got official jobs too.  JARVIS’ and Happy’s jobs were to get you back to the Tower and to be on the watch for any kind of threat.  Pepper’ll be descending on SHIELD any minute now with Priscilla and the other lawyers.  There’ll be gag orders and NDA’S and whatever else they can make stick.  She’s gonna be protecting you, SI, and the Avengers legally and financially.  I’d feel sorry for Hill but honestly I don’t like SHIELD, never have.”

“And you?”  Toni asks carefully.  “What’s your job?”

“Oh baby girl, I got the best job of all.  You know why?” Rhodey smiles at her softly, lovingly, even as she shakes her head at his question.  “It’s because my job’s always been to get to you.  I’m gonna do what I should have done when we were kids Toni.  I’m gonna put myself right between you and any version of Howard Stark that comes along and I’m gonna make him think twice about even _breathing_ in your direction.”

It takes all of Toni’s will power not to let the tears she can feel welling up in her eyes from spilling over.

“Toni,” Rhodey runs a thumb over the arch of her cheek with an exquisite kind of tenderness, “I know we never talked about it.  Not outright.  But I want you to know that he’s _never_ going to hurt you again.  I promise.”

In that moment Toni really and truly believes him.

Because it’s _Rhodey_ so of course she does.

~~~

She’s calmer, face composed and emotions back under control, by the time Steve and Bucky get to the penthouse.  They both look supremely unsurprised to see Rhodey already there and glued firmly to her side.

Rhodey, for his part, just lounges back in the chair they’re sitting in, one arm around her waist where she’s on his lap while his free hand toys with a few of the curls that’ve escaped her clip.  There’s always a sort of tension between the three of them that Toni doesn't understand and Rhodey just laughs off every time she asks him about it.

Toni would say he’s teasing the two of them, is deliberately baiting them, but she can’t completely pin down about what.

“Just get it done Richards,” Toni turns her attention back to the projection of Richards that’s hovering in front of her at the moment.

“Don’t rush me Stark,” Richards huffs back at her, attention distracted as it always is by something off screen.  “My instruments and calculations are _delicate_.”

“It’s not me rushing you that you should be worried about,” Toni warns him almost cheerfully.  “My Brucie’s on the way to your building and he’s not nearly as patient as I am on a good day.  And today is _not_ a good day.”

Richards goes abruptly pale and Toni takes a vicious sort of satisfaction in wiggling her fingers in his direction and then cutting the call.

“You enjoy torturing that man entirely too much,” Rhodey tells her.

“One of the few small pleasures in my life,” Toni shrugs a bit, completely unrepentant.

“Toni,” Steve looks unsure, hesitant even.  “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine Cap,” Toni waves his concern off lightly, does her best to smile at him.  She doesn’t like to lie to him but she needs the comfort of control, the safety of pretending, in this moment.  Even in front of him and Bucky.

Maybe, in some ways, especially in front of the two of them.

If the way Steve’s mouth goes flat and Bucky just _stares_ at her is anything to go by they don’t actually believe her.

But neither of them call her out on the lie either so that … well that means a lot to her as ridiculous as it sounds.

“Sit down you two,” Rhodey waves them towards the couch across from the armchair where they’re sitting.  “Looming like that ain’t fixing anything.”

Steve and Bucky automatically move to take a seat and Toni catches the small smirk that Rhodey quickly bites down.

“Richards find a fix yet?”  Bucky’s the one who breaks the silence surprisingly enough.

“He says he’s close,” Toni sighs as she leans back against Rhodey’s chest.  “Says it’ll be thirty-six hours or so before he can get anything up and running.  But with Bruce there my bets on it being more like twenty-four.  Richards likes to purposefully overestimate his time restraints.”

“Couldn’t you get it up faster?”  Steve asks.

Toni’s more than a bit warmed by the obvious faith he has in her skills.

“Probably,” Toni shrugs.  “But Bruce has access to both me and JARVIS so anything I could do there I can do from here just as easily.  Plus, like Brucie Bear said, I’m less liable to strangle Richards from here.  Or try and steal sweet Suzie Q out from underneath him again.  That’s probably the one thing that ever gets his actual attention.”

“Do you …” Steve trails off, seems to gather himself a bit, and then plows forward, “are you going to see either of them?  The Howards?”

Beneath her Toni feels the way Rhodey instantly tenses, feels the way his arm squeezes her middle just a bit before he deliberately relaxes it.

“No.”  Toni says instantly, easily.  “The Howard I grew up with is _dead_ , been dead a long time now.  Seeing either of these two … well it’s not going to do me any good.”

Steve looks like he wants to protest for a moment but he seems to remember himself because he blows out a short breath and settles back into the couch, one hand tapping at the shield that’s propped against his left leg.

Beside him Bucky remains silent, remains still.  His gaze is heavy on Toni’s face but he keeps his silence as he so often does.

Toni’s grateful.

~~~

It turns out that Toni was right.  Bruce calls a few hours later and tells Toni that with JARVIS’ help running a few calculation he and Richards should have portals up and running again in twelve or so hours.

Twelve or so hours and Howard, both of them, will be out of Toni’s life hopefully once and for all.

Toni’s mind _whirls_.

~~~

“I wish you’d reconsider Miss,” JARVIS’ voice is soft in her ear.  “It will not change things, you know this.  It is far more likely it was either a fixed point or that a new, alternate time line will now appear once he returns.”

“I know J,” Toni tells him quietly, voice barely a murmur over the sound of her heels tapping against the tile beneath her feet.  She’s dressed for war without a hair or fold out of place despite the late hour.  “But I have to do this.  If there’s even a chance it could help whatever universe he goes back to …”

“I find that I do not care for other universes,” JARVIS confesses gently.  “Only this one.  Only you.”

“Then maybe this’ll make a difference for some other me,” Toni reasons with him.  “Maybe, by doing this, by talking with him, maybe it’ll be what keeps some other Toni from having to live with a Howard like the one I had.  I think that’s worth the risk.  I think that’s worth a lot of risks J.”

JARVIS is silent in her ear for a long moment.

“I cannot fault you on this line of logic although I find myself displeased with it.”  JARVIS finally concedes.  “Please be aware that I have control of all of the cameras and I will not hesitate to send the armor for you again should your vitals elevate beyond acceptable measures.”

“Love you too, baby boy,” Toni smiles just a bit even as she turns a corner and catches sight of Natasha lounging by the sealed doorway.

“Where are the others?”  Toni asks as she comes abreast with her.

“Pepper scared everyone else off hours ago, including Hill, so I sent Sam and Thor to the cafeteria.  Clint’s taking a nap under Fury’s old desk.”  Natasha quirks a small smile at her.  “I took the night watch, figured you wouldn’t want an audience when you came back.”

“You know me so well Charlotte,” Toni teases softly.

“Not as well as I want,” Natasha tells her with a surprising amount of seriousness, “but I’m trying to fix that.”

“Thank you,” Toni tells her, lets herself soften just a bit.  “For staying, for clearing the way for me for a bit.  Just … _thanks_.”

“You are family _Зайка_ ,” Natasha tells her gently as she reaches out and tugs teasingly at one of the curls Toni had left to dangle artfully around her face.  “There is nothing I would not do for my family.  Especially not something so simple as this.”

It’s not simple, not for Toni, but then she knows Natasha know that too.

And that, honestly, makes all of the difference.

~~~

He’s sitting slumped over the table, head in his hands, when she opens the door.  He perks up immediately though, familiar and yet foreign eyes raking over her form with open curiosity and not a small bit of appreciation.

The feel of his gaze makes her skin _crawl_.

Because he might not be the same Howard Toni had grown up under but he has the _potential_ to be.

For Toni that’s enough.

It might be unfair of her, might be wrong and petty, but Toni knows there will never be a permutation of Howard that she finds comforting or appealing in any way.

The ghost of his cruelty, the remembered agony of his fists and feet, will always be too fresh and vivid in her mind for that to ever happen.

“Hello,” Howard smiles at her, circles prominent under his eyes and hair as dark as her own falling rakishly across his forehead.  “The future might not be so bad after all if there’s diamonds like you running around.”

He pushes back from the table and stands up, smoothing his hands down the front of his dress shirt in a move that looks second nature.

Toni watches him warily as he comes around the table and stops a little more than an arm’s length away from her.

“I’m Howard, Howard Stark,” he smiles charmingly and holds a hand out in her direction.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss?”

Toni arches a brow, glances down at his outstretched hand, and barely keeps a snarl from unfolding across her expression.

Given the way his brow furrows and his hand slowly drops down at his side there must still be something, some hint of her disdain, left in her expression.

“Sit,” Toni points back towards the seat he’d just been in.  To her surprise Howard doesn’t even protest, instead he just walks back over and sits back down.

Toni moves until she’s standing on opposite side of the table from him but she doesn’t sit down.  She can’t bring herself to even pretend to be comfortable around this version of Howard, this smaller, somehow _lesser_ version of the monster who haunts her even still.

“You know you’re in the future,” Toni states without bothering to phrase it as a question.  Howard was a lot of things but _stupid_ had never been one of them.

“Pretty obvious,” Howard agrees.  “Would like to see more of it, maybe ask some questions, but I got scuttled along here quick enough.”

“You’ll be back in your rightful place in a few hours,” Toni tells him, careful not to give away any thoughts on alternate universes or the like.

“That why you’re here now?”  He asks.  “To get me ready to go home?”

“No,” Toni narrows her eyes at him, “I’m here for something else.  Something much more important.  A problem only you can … _fix_.”

“Well I’m all yours darling,” Howard grins, “tell me what the problem is.  Fixing things is what I do after all.”

“My name is Natasha Antonia _Stark_ , your biological daughter,” Toni states evenly, coldly.  “We need to have a conversation about your future parenting skills.”

The blood abruptly drains from Howard’s face.

~~~

The younger Howard is pale faced and red eyed when Toni leaves him but she can’t bring herself to feel any sympathy for him at all.

She doesn’t have the capacity to hold positive emotions towards Howard of any age or source.

Natasha isn’t there when she steps out into the hall and JARVIS seals the door behind her.  Toni’s grateful for that, grateful for the chance to compose herself before she tackles the next hurdle.

Because speaking with the younger Howard was hard, was grating and terrible in its own way.

Speaking to the older, more familiar Howard?

Toni fully expects it to be agonizing.

But pain of any kind has never stopped her before in the past.

She’ll be damned if she gives him the satisfaction of letting him stop her now.

“Once more unto the breach J,” Toni mutters as she moves down the hall and towards the next holding room.

“Stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood,” JARVIS answers.  “Let us be as tigers, Miss.”

~~~

This Howard, the older one, looks like something ripped directly from one of Toni’s oldest nightmares.  Right down to the thick gold ring on his left pinkie and the faded but still pervasive scent of scotch that hangs around him like a high priced cologne.

Toni keeps her hands loose and open at her sides as she steps into the room, keeps her expression icy when he turns narrowed eyes in her direction.

“Natasha,” Howard frown as he rakes his eyes over her, “about time someone came in here.  Even if it is you, girl.  Not that keeping me locked up will do anyone any good.  I know I’m in the future, no thanks to that bunch of idiots who brought me here.”

“ _Shut.  Up_.”  The words fall from Toni’s mouth with deceptive softness.

“What did you say to me girl?”  Howard snaps in her direction, expression falling into a familiar and hated scowl.  His hands slam down on top of the table as he shoves his way up onto his feet in a violent surge.

Toni’s mind goes smooth, goes clear and sharp in that way that it normally only does when she’s in battle.

But then anything dealing with Howard has always been and always will be a type of fight for her.

“Armor is on standby,” JARVIS practically hisses in her ear.  “If he lays hands upon you I will be forced to terminate him with _extreme prejudice_ , Miss.”

“Sit down you pathetic old bastard,” Toni sneers at Howard, openly disgusted and dismissive, as she flicks a hand in his direction.

“ _Girl_ ,” Howard bites the word out threateningly.

Toni has to swallow down bile at the sense memories that abruptly assault her.

“Sit down, Howard,” Toni tells him again, “before I _make_ you sit down.”

“Don’t make me put you in your place Natasha,” Howard starts.

“And where, exactly, is that?”  Toni spits the question out like a challenge.  “Beneath you?”

Toni laughs, sharp and fake and deliberately mocking.  She finally knows right where to hit him.  She’s always known really, but now … now she finally has the ammunition and the capabilities to truly fire back.

She bites the laugh off sharply, abruptly, and instead stares him directly in the eyes.

Even from here, even after years without the necessity of reading his moods to survive, she can still spot the anger and the wariness in his eyes easily enough.

“You don’t have a say as to my place anymore Howard,” Toni tells him.  “You never really did.”

Howard goes to speak but Toni cuts him off with a sharp gesture of her hand.  The way he automatically stops tastes sickly sweet on the back of her tongue.

Finally she has the upper hand.

“I came here to say something to you,” Toni admits, voice even and calm but cold enough to freeze flame itself.  “And after I’ve said it I’m going to walk out that door and I’ll never have to see you again.  I’ll never even _think_ of you again.”

That’s a lie, Toni knows it is even as she says it, but the words still taste so _so_ sweet on her tongue.

“You’re going to be less than a memory for me and even that’s more than you’ll ever deserve.”  Toni tells him with determination.

Expression sour Howard sits back down and waves an impatient hand in her direction.  Toni gets the impression that he thinks he’s humoring her.

A part of Toni thinks he should just be grateful she didn’t put a repulsor blast or a bullet through his head.

“You’re a monster,” Toni starts and has the pleasure of seeing Howard tense and glare at her sharply.  “I don’t know what made you that way and I, frankly, _do not care_.  You chose to be a monster toward me.  You chose that.  Not me.”

“Stop your whining, girl,” Howard growls out.

“I want you to know that I took your company, the company I never wanted.”  Toni plows on.  “I took it and I made _billions_ on my designs, my products.   _Mine_.  Not yours.  I took SI and I built it to heights you could’ve never dreamed of.”

“That company is my legacy,” Howard interrupts, “you owe that foundation to _me_.”

“Your _legacy_ was built on blood and death,” Toni snarls, “and I was _still_ better at it than you ever were.  You’re a _footnote_ in history Howard.  But me?   _I’m a goddamn book_.”

Howard’s face goes ruddy with rage, an alcoholic’s blush painted across his skin.

“I spread SI out across the globe,” Toni knows she’s dangerously close to bragging but she can’t seem to stop herself.  “I made it a household name.  I lived through you and worse than you and I came out _golden_ on the other side.  I’m the Stark in Stark Industries now.  I’m the face people think of when they say the name Stark, not you.  I built a mechanical wonder the likes of which the world has never seen and _I miniaturized the arc reactor_.”

Toni takes a sick sort of satisfaction in the way Howard’s face goes pale and slack in rapid succession at that revelation.

There’s one more card though, one more blow that she knows will hurt him above all else.

“We found Steve,” Toni throws the knowledge down between them like a gauntlet.  “Captain America’s alive and well and _I_ fight by his side.   _Me_ , not you.”

“Steve,” Howard rasps out, something like awe and joy on his face, “how-where was he?  Where did I find him?”

“You didn’t,” Toni cuts that hope right out from underneath him.  “You’re dead here, have been for years.  You never get to see him, didn’t even get _close_.  And if I have my way you never will.  You’re dead here and you don’t deserve to even speak his name.”

Howard makes a noise of inarticulate rage but it no longer has the power to phase Toni.  She feels lighter already, feels as if some sort of invisible burden has been lifted off of her shoulders..

“I just wanted you to know that,” Toni tells him as she moves back towards the door.  “I wanted you to know that you couldn’t beat the soul out of me no matter how hard you tried.  In the end, I beat you, you old bastard. _I beat you_.” Toni pulls the door open and spares Howard one last look.  “You’re dead and I haven’t wasted a single _second_ of my life mourning you.  You aren’t missed, you aren’t revered.  You’re _nothing_ but a quickly fading memory.  And now I’m going to forget that as well.”

The chair that crashes against the door a split second after she pulls it closed behind her is like music to her ears.

~~~

Toni walks away from the room at a steady pace, heels clicking against the tiles.

She’s surprised and yet somehow not when she turns the corner and Steve’s there, leaning against the wall, arms folded across over his chest and shield firmly in place on his back.

His eyes are red rimmed.

Toni’s breath catches in her chest.

“How long you been there?”  She asks quietly.

“The whole time,” Steve admits.  “We followed you as soon as you left.”

“We?”  Toni can’t help but question even though she already knows the answer.

“We,” Bucky confirms as he practically melts out of the shadows of the hall.  “Rhodes is on the roof too, just so you know.”

“Of course he is,” Toni quirks a small smile.  “He’s an overprotective bear but he’s always got my back.”

“We do too,” Steve pushes off the wall and moves a few steps closer to her, expression heartbreakingly earnest.  “You know that don’t you Toni?  We, me and Buck, the whole team, we’ve all got your back.  However, whenever you need us.  For anything.”

“You know what I can do, doll,” Bucky’s suddenly closer to her as well, lingering just over her shoulder, the tips of his metal hand coming up to toy with a loose curl in that way he sometimes does when they sit together late at night.  When he lets himself open up to her just a bit.

Toni nods because she does know.  She knows better than most people _exactly_ what he’s capable of.  The good and the bad.

“It’s _yours_ ,” Bucky tells her solemnly.  “All of it, any of it.  Everything I can do is yours if you ever need it.”

Toni’s breath hitches in her chest.

“Same goes for me.”  Steve agrees softly.  “My shield’s yours Toni.  I-I’m yours if you need me.  Just … know that.  We’re both here for you.  No matter what.  Okay?”

“Yeah,” Toni rasps, body warm and heart fluttering in her chest.

“Good,” Bucky says lowly and then there’s arms around her waist, one metal and one flesh.

Bucky pulls her into the curve of his body gently, presses her close until her back is plastered to his chest as he drapes himself over her and presses the tip of his nose against her hair.  Toni can’t help the small, instinctive shudder that runs through her at the feel of his heat pressed so firmly against her.

In front of her Steve takes a handful of steps closer until he’s looming in front of her.  His large, warm hands come up and he cups her face in his palms like she’s something precious and fragile.

Cocooned between the two of them as she is, Toni’s chest feels tight with emotion, with the love and longing that she’s never spoke of to either of them.  That’s she’s sure she’ll never tell either of them despite the way it eats away at her each and every day.

“You gave us a home, Toni,” Steve says as he bends down enough to press his forehead against hers.  Toni can feel his breath on her lips and it’s enough to make her want to whine in need.  “There’s nothing we wouldn’t do to keep it, to keep you, in our lives.  Remember that, for the both of us.  We’re always going to be here for you.  No matter what.”

And Toni does believe him, does believe both of them.

It seems too good to be true but she is so very weak where the both of them are concerned.

But, standing there in a deserted hallway in the middle of SHIELD, Toni finds that maybe she hadn’t really lied to Howard all that much after all.

Because, bracketed by Steve and Bucky’s bodies, safe in their arms with their warmth slowly thawing out the ice in her soul, Howard is little more than a rapidly fading memory.

And that is all that he’ll _ever_ deserve to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there might be some people who are disappointed with there not being more Howard in this second half, that there wasn't some huge confrontation with him and Steve/Bucky, but like I said before I waffled on how to handle the conclusion for a long time.
> 
> I finally decided that there's no way in hell anyone was ever going to fight this particular battle for Toni because that's just not who she is. And, frankly, she deserved more than that.
> 
> I also decided that Howard didn't deserve to be included in this second half more than he already was. Didn't deserve to have his voice heard more than it already has been. He had the chance to impact Toni's life and he chose to be a abuser.
> 
> He, like abusers everywhere, no longer has the right to step foot into his victim's narrative more than he already does.
> 
> *Зайка - Russian for bunny.
> 
> http://rayshippouuchiha.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> PROMPT: Set in the nebulous future of "The Limitations of Wax" where the team has come together as a family how do you think the team, Toni, and her loved ones, would react to not one, but two Howards, one from Toni's childhood and the one from further back in the past during WWII, appearing in their time?


End file.
